Saturday, April 23, 2016


A week from tomorrow I will attend the annual Scholar's Banquet at my high school. I think this is funny/awesome for a few reasons.

1) FUNNY: I think it's always hilarious when old people go back to their high school to do anything. Not because of embarrassment or anything like that. It's just a reminder of how swiftly time passes, that the days are long, but the years are short. This is mirrored in parenthood, especially as my sweet Little B prepares for middle school in the fall.

Pardon me. I just threw up in my mouth a little.

2) AWESOME: This event and its scheduled speaker provide a textbook example of nepotism. My mom plans the banquet every year and secures the speaker. At least she waited until her 19th banquet to subject the high-acheiving student body, faculty, and stakeholders of Indian Creek School District to this:

Those poor, unfortunate people. (Baby B's face is the perfect reference)

3) FUNNY/AWESOME: I am delivering speech. Now, I've never been one to be nervous in front of people and I'm more comfortable talking with strangers than I am acquaintances. A gentle reminder here that I am currently a student. Lucrative, I know. Not a cardiologist, lawyer, golf pro, CEO, etc like some of the former speakers. However, the hilarious part of this stems from the fact that I feel as though I have something to say that they actually need to hear. I've never been a human who exhibited tremendous focus and tenacity and this significantly affected my professional path in life. I appeared to be motivated. I probably would have told you I was motivated, but in all honesty...not so much.

I thought I would TedTalk this bad boy. Write it, revise, edit, and memorize.

Remember what I said earlier about appearing to be motivated?

My mom asked if I was going to be funny, but unfortunately, this is not in the cards. It's a relatively long and boring story with what I believe to be a semi-significant point. I figure if I can keep them off their phones for at least five of the 17 minutes, I will have succeeded. Isn't it awful that I think my speech will be less successful because I think I have a valuable lesson to share? Depressing.

And a sign of advanced age, I think.

4) FUNNY: I'm packing my big girl panties and am traveling alone, which is a first for me. I've never flown alone. I have never been without my family for four consecutive days EVER. I don't like this one bit, which is also pretty funny. I'm a 37-year-old student who's going off on her own for the very first time.

Don't worry. My mommy and daddy are picking me up at the airport.

5) AWESOME: As the speaker, I can invite a few guests. Since my sweet family isn't traveling with me, I requested to invite some former teachers. A few of them are actually coming, which makes my heart so happy. I might possibly cry. Considering I am a generally cold-hearted and unemotional pretty much guarantees I will ball like a sniveling idiot. (See also: FUNNY)

I can't wait to get home, spend some quality time with my parents, and share lots of pictures (including but not limited to Dean Martin murals, Giannamore's Pizza, and the Ohio River) that no one will care about but me!

You have a week to prepare for the onslaught. You have been warned.

Sunday, January 31, 2016

In Good Fashion

Keeping with my last post, well over two years ago, it's time for a bit of an update.

Picking up where I left off in December of 2013, I was a stay-at-home mom with a newborn (whom I affectionately call Baby B), a sweet-singing eight year-old (Little B), and wife to my darling, bi-vocational husband, Mr. B.

Quite a bit has changed since those days.

At the request of one of my favorite people, EVER, I went back to teach Kindergarten with the amazing Regina Berns in the fall of 2014. It was crazy. I was crazy, but the people, kids, and school were amazing, so it didn't seem so much like work. Definitely no writing happening. I didn't think I could get any busier.


A random meeting presented me with the opportunity to apply for a Graduate Teaching Assistantship at Kansas State University. I applied. I got it. I am now working on my Ph.D in Curriculum and Instruction. This isn't something I imagined happening for another ten years, so I was incredibly surprised and still am that I'm a student again.

We also moved, which was a huge blessing. Baby B may be tiny, but the girl was just the thing to push us to the brink in our tiny house. We love our new home and it is perfect for us. Just enough space and we can have people over for dinner and actually sit down in the same room. Brilliant, I know.

Well, that's the abridged update. I probably wouldn't have even ended up here except I trying to put off a paper on a unearned privilege experiment by researching Whole30. I went to comment on another Whole30er's blog and it didn't accept my blog address.  Turns out I changed the name of this blog and forgot what I renamed it. When I was staying home with Baby B, we went from vegans to freegans (if it was free, we'd eat it).  It seemed misleading to leave it, so I changed it.

I look forward to more procrastination posts in the near future...or let's be honest, not so near future.

See you in 2018, right?